dear legs

dear legs

we need to have a chat you and i. you’re not my best feature but your certainly not my worst. however i do treat you well and just to give you forward notice i would very much like to see this reciprocated if you wouldn’t mind. thanks.

i don’t hack you to pieces with razor blades, i loving get you waxed.

i don’t let you get all rough and skanky round the edges, i loving give you pedicures.

i don’t let you look unloved, i loving paint your nails.

i don’t hide you away all year, i loving take you on holidays and lay you in the sun.

for what do i get in return? nada

2 weeks i laid you bare in the sunshine. 2 weeks. so what do you do?

do you turn a golden hue of loveliness as i see on others on the beach? oh no.

do you match the rest of my body which has dutifully turned sun-kissed and freckly ? oh most certainly not.

no you are white as the day i went on holiday. why is this legs? why? why are you still as white as my shed?

this doesn’t please me, it doesn’t please me at all. i would like to see an improvement for our next jaunt to the sunshine please. i do hope you have taken note and see sense to follow suit with my other bodily parts which seem to find this request an easy task.

thanking you kindly



  1. July 24, 2012 / 16:06

    Me too! No matter how long I’m in the sun for 🙁
    *shakes fist*

    • hpmcq
      July 24, 2012 / 20:28

      so frustrating i would almost rather it was the other way round!

  2. July 24, 2012 / 20:26

    Aw! At least yours didn’t go lobster red…then peel and return to white!

    Lovely looking legs though *wolfwhistles*

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