early on this week i read a blog post from those 24 little hours titled “when is a friend not a friend…anymore?” and it gave me a sharp reminder about a friendship i thought was special which just vanished into thin air.
we had spent a lot of time together, me and this friend, we would see each other most days. we lived practically on the same road, all be it a long road but i used to park my car at her’s as it was near the station. it was kind of an odd friendship really, as she wasn’t the kind of person i would normally tolerate, not in the slightest. she was terribly spoilt, and tended to get things her own way but she never tried it on with me, i think she knew what answer she would get if she did!
i had known her for many years before we became close, knew her sister first actually. i knew her for 17 years and we were close, very close for a good 10 years.
things changed when i moved to london, however i didn’t notice this at all, funny what hindsight is. she had children and we didn’t at the time, so we would always go to them at weekends, rather than packing up the whole family and all the gubbings that goes with to come up to ours in the big smoke.
then along came ronnie. twice she saw him. twice. once at olivers parents after we had left the hospital he was not a week old and then once at a friends house, at around 6 months.
everything was always manipulated to work around what she wanted, this was becoming more and more apparent and more and more upsetting. if i didn’t go to her, she certainly didn’t come to me. didn’t even meet me half way. so if i didn’t call her, what would happen? you guessed it a big fat nothing. but for some reason i still persevered, i have no idea why.
when ronnie was 8 months old, he was rushed into hospital with suspected swine flu. it was a frightening experience. terrifying. i had no idea what was going on or what to do. we had the distinct impression that the doctors and nurses weren’t too sure either. i called my friend and left a message for her to call me. i was in a right old panic. i didn’t hear a thing. just over a week later, i somehow managed to call her and hold my anger in and just ask why i hadn’t heard from her “oh i’ve just been really really busy”
that was the moment i knew my friend was no longer a friend. i haven’t called her once since that day, and guess what, i haven’t heard a thing from her. she even missed ronnies first birthday. now thats what you call a true friend.
Thanks I enjoyed this is a funny kind of way – I have, after one particular incident, come to the conclusion that some friendships really do have a time limit. Often when you look back they have always been slightly ‘toxic’ friends – ones that you always made excuses for – anyway the moral of the story – let go completely & thank your lucky stars you saw the light!
hey you, i think it is you? is it? thanks for the lovely comment, sometimes things just do have to come to an end.
Friends for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I have loads in the first category, quite a few in the second and a handful on the last.
i’ve never heard that saying before but it is very true!