a day in the life

i often wonder why i’m so tired all the time?

am i not eating very well? eating far too well most of the time!

not exercising enough? could do more maybe but more than most

going out all hours of the night? oh yeah right old raver me

drinking too much? tea perhaps booze barely interested, i’m a light weight

i have a small child, does he keep me up at night? not at all he has been a love in the sleeping department

so what is it? why am i completely knackered? all. the. time.

then i looked back on my day, and here i think is why

6.30 get up, actually roll over press snooze button

6.39 get up, quick squeezes with ronnie, order addison lee, get into shower, get ready

7.10 go down stairs, eat breakfast, check ronnies bag, get christmas card artwork form completed, find cheque book, write cheque staple to form put in bag. prepare white rose for ronnies blazer, find pin. put cakes baked yesterday into tubs. make flags with ronnies name on. find bag to put tubs in

7.25 run upstairs, brush teeth, sort out face, find shoes, find coat, find bag. can’t find purse. CAN’T FIND PURSE!!! oh fuck it grab whatever cash i can find, it’s too late. go get car

7.40 pull car up to front of house. ronnie get in the car… ronnie get in the car… RONNIE GET IN THE CAR! pick up small child put in the car. get scooter, get cakes, get hand bag. kiss oliver goodbye

7.45 drive to school, sing hey fiddle diddle seven times

7.55 get to school, get ronnie out of car, arrghhhhhhh forgotten flower on blazer, get scooter out of the car, get cakes, get hand bag, lock car. scoot to school

8.00 park scoot, drop ronnie in school hall, big squeeze hug and kisses, hand over to teacher, hand cakes into school office. dash out the door

8.15 get picked up by addison lee, drive to paddington

8.25 check through emails on phone. shit shit SHIT train tickets are in purse that is lost. arse. find booking confirmation on email

9.00 arrive at paddington in rush hour eeeekkkk. search for ticket office. queue is half way to glasgow. join queue

9.15 get to free window so booking confirmation, explain about lost purse and tickets. computer says no. buys more tickets

9.18 run out of ticket office, find departure board, skid onto platform, comedy fast walk down platform jump on train, find seat. breath

9.21 train leaves station. check through and answer emails on phone. call nanny minnie to check she is ok. she’s not *sad face* arrange to call her this evening. text oliver to get things for nanny minnie.

10.35 arrive in hanborough near oxford. get collected at station. drive to factory

11.00 arrive at factory. drink tea and talk about stuff and bit and bobs

12.30 get guided tour of factory

1.30 eat sandwiches and talk about more stuff and bits and bobs

2.30 leave factory and drive to oxford

2.55 get to oxford

3.01 get on train back to london. check emails. respond to emails. call office. book addison lee

4.15 arrive at paddington, walk to taxi rank, wait for car.

4.30 car arrives, jump in, drive back to ronnies school. listen to radio, chat to driver about jimmy saville

5.15 arrive at ronnie’s school. give monkey big squeeze and kisses. get cake tubs from school office, pick up blazer and school bag, go get scoot. scoot to car, drive home

5.45 get back home. get changed from work clothes and school clothes, set up racing car track.

6.00 start dinner. fix racing car track. continue with dinner. fix racing car track. open cupboard no plates. open dish washer which is still running from this morning? realise dish washer is broken and jump for joy. turn dishwasher off. take plates, wash plates in sink.

6.15 finish dinner take to table. notice ronnie is naked. why are you naked ronnie? have you been to the toilet? yes mummy, i’ve done a poo and there’s lots of water in the toilet. goes to check out downstairs cloak room. toilet is blocked with water to the rim with floaty bits and toilet paper wedge into the u bend. how much toilet paper did you use ronnie? all of this *shows me empty toilet roll* oh ronnie why did you use so much? because i did so much poo. great.

6.30 enter oliver from work and hand over toilet scenario. ha ha. finally sit with ronnie to eat dinner with wafty poo smell in the air

6.45 call nanny minnie to let her know i have her stuff and get list of things she might need from sainsburys

6.50 go to sainsburys. buy stuff leave sainsbury’s

7.00 drive to east london

7.15 diversion sends me to the old kent road grrrrrrrrr

7.30 arrive at nanny minnies. give her big kisses and a bunch of pink roses. sit and chat, give her all the things she wanted.

8.05 dad calls at nanny minnies house, quick chat then get ready to go.

8.15 leave nanny minnies. plan route home avoiding diversion and old kent road grrrrr

8.44 arrive home. open front door. put kettle on. put nightdress on, drink tea in bed.

night all, tomorrows just another day x