a gift

i really couldn’t quite believe my eyes today, as i read a story in the papers about a book that has been published, called “a gift for muslim couples” and what a gift it is. it is indeed a guide for muslim husbands on how to deal with marriage, the pitfalls and on what issues may cause the breakdown of the marriage, and how to ensure you have a successful marriage.

this is something that could be a great asset, yes? well i wish i could have been gifted such a book. i have been previously married and divorced, and perhaps this little gem could have helped me see the errors of my ways?

well think again. within the opening couple of pages of this delightful book it states that :

it might be necessary to restrain her with strength or even threaten her. how pleasant.

other gems include :

the rights of the husband include that the wife should not leave his house without his permission

she should fulfil his desires and not allow herself to be untidy and should beautify herself for him. fanuary would have definitely been a bit of a no no then.

the book also advises that the husband should scold their wives, and that they should either beat by hand or by stick and even perhaps pull her by her ears. however they should refrain from beating excessively. oh that’s ok then as long as it’s not excessive?

in pakistan muslim women are frequently considered and treated as second class citizens. it was only this week that it was reported that almost 1000 muslim women in pakistan were murdered in honour killings, 93 of these were minors. many killed by their own fathers, husbands or brothers, for bringing shame onto the family. these honour killings are mainly when women have gone against the families wished in any way, even if it’s just on a  suspicion. many have been killed over unsuitable boyfriends, accusations of illicit relations,  marrying without permission, inheritance rights and property disputes. many are raped or gang raped before their killing. this is however potentially grossly underestimated as many of these honour killings are covered up by relatives.

despite small progress being made on women’s rights within muslim communities, there is no law against domestic violence, so many cases are dismissed by police, as they are considered to be private family matters. many are also reported to be suicides.

not surprisingly it is facing quite a backlash within the moderate muslim community, but why are these books allowed to be published in the first place? why would any book that advises men on the best ways to beat your wife ever be allowed to go to print in any culture? what are the morals of the company that would actually put this into print? if in the riots last august people were arrested for inciting violence surely the author of this hideous book, maulavi ashraf ali thanvi should be arrested for the same?