david john mott

my first boyfriend

the first person i truly loved, aside of my family of course

i met david when we were both 15. i always called him david, most called him dave or motty, but not me it was always david

he went to st martins and i the ursuline convent

these two schools didn’t really mix as a whole, actually no other schools in brentwood really mixed with the ursuline girls, i think they thought that we were all weirdos for going to a single sex school, with nuns and all that, and of course we must all be lesbians because of course a lesbian wouldn’t dream of going to a co-ed school?

it took a while for david and i to actually really get together as girlfriend and boyfriend. he was quite handsome and even at the young age of 15 had many a girl fluttering their lashes at him. like i said he was handsome, olive skin, dark curly hair and deep brown eyes. there was italian blood in his family, both he and his sister had been passed these wonderful genes and both turned a head or two. we met a local disco and over the course of a month or so kept bumping into each other

we courted until around the age of 18, i say around because i don’t actually remember breaking up, i mean not at all. we just became really good friends, we grew up but slightly on different tangents. david left school at 16 and started working straight away. where i carried on to do a levels and then onto my foundation course in art. it was at this later point that we kind of drifted. davids work took him away from home. he was a rigger, putting together and taking apart shows, exhibitions and concerts up and down the country. where ever the work would take him. back then we were only just getting mobile phones so i guess contact was fairly minimal whilst he was away. he found new friends on his journeys and me too with college. i kind of just happened slowly, but we always had so much fun together when we would bump into each other. i loved him dearly. i loved him completely. he loved me more than cheese

over the years to follow i had other boyfriends, or boys that were “sniffing around” as my dad would say and david would always tell me to steer clear of them all, he always had my back and was hugely protective but in a brotherly way rather than a jealous ex boyfriend way. he too of course had girlfriends, however they who would often try to pick arguments with me and tell me to keep away from david. it never did them any favours though as david would often tell them to go jump. they just didn’t really understand that it wasn’t like that, i wasn’t a threat. not a threat at all. we were good friends, close friends, i just happened to be his ex girlfriend

and so life went on, and i met and then married my first husband

one morning, a saturday, actually 23rd june 2000 to be precise, i received a phone call from my friend claudine, you know the one who wears the odd socks. i wasn’t ready for what i was about to hear. she was crying and could hardly get her words out. “it’s david” just those words froze me to the spot. i could feel the nausea rising, i knew what was going to be said next “he’s dead” i only just made it to the bathroom before my legs gave way and i was instantaneously vomiting. i’m not sure that i even continued any kind of conversation with claude, i just remember dialling davids parents number, which all those years later i still knew off by heart. nina his sister answered the phone, somehow she manage to say hello, i knew it was true. “nina it’s me, can i come over?” i was dressed and out the door within moments. the drive to davids family home seemed to take forever, i reality it was 10 minutes away

pat & ray, davids parents were fantastic people, truly fantastic. even to this day we still send each other christmas cards. they are fine examples of parents and i loved them dearly too. the heart-break and the pain that was put upon the mott family and close friends from that day onwards is too hard for me to even begin to explain or to put into words

david had died because of a failure in basic health and safety standards. davids safety harness failed , so as he stepped off a catwalk onto a false roof that was not strong enough to hold his weight. david fell 115 feet to his death from the roof of earls court 1. he was only 26. only 6 months earlier another worker had died in a similar way. davids death was foreseeable, avoidable and devastating.

the funeral was the most amazing thing i have ever seen. 100’s upon 100’s of friends and family attended, there was barely enough room in the church for us all. we were so tightly packed in, standing room only. it was a true representation of what a gorgeous, wonderful and happy go lucky kind of chap that david was. he was friends with everyone, everyone knew who he was and glad to know him too. the air was thick with emotion when his uncle stood to read a short eulogy, which concluded with part of the note left for his mother on that very morning when un-known to a single sole that when he left to go to work he would never return. “don’t forget to get me some cheese mum” you see even then, we both knew you could never have enough cheese.

happy birthday david i too loved you more than cheese.


  1. April 4, 2012 / 09:06

    Oh honey. This post has me in tears. He sounds like he was a wonderful chap. Sending hugs x

  2. April 5, 2012 / 07:33

    Heartbreaking. How devastating to lose a son at any age, and such a friend…. I can remember the day when someone told me that my ex-boyfriend had committed suicide with petrol. He had been found by his twin brother. Truly unthinkable. We were only in our early 20s. I won’t ever forget.

  3. actuallymummy
    April 5, 2012 / 18:52

    What a lovely post for a great friend. I have shivers

  4. Kieron Brwon
    April 19, 2012 / 10:33

    Vanessa – It’s Kieron the mad spanish one ha ha ha…I was just listening to Dub Syndicate – stoned immaculate that David & I use to listen to back in the day…Anyway I thougt I would google David’s name and this came up. (How weird). I can only agree with everything you said especially about David’s parents who are the most amazing people ever!!!…David was the best friend ever and his laughter is dearly missed. Think I will be having some cheese and red wine tonight. Hope life is treating you and family well? Kieron X

    • Karen
      September 12, 2012 / 01:04

      And I am david’s current girlfriend. When he died. And to this day. I still struggle without him. And I love him so much, no one would ever know. Karen Taylor-David’s girlfriend

      • hpmcq
        September 13, 2012 / 22:05

        hi karen, we met briefly on that saturday and then on the day of the funeral. i hope you don’t mind that i have written about david, he was a big part of my life and i treasure that. thank you for leaving a comment on my blog, on this post. david wouldn’t want for you to struggle, he would want you to be happy. when you are struggling please think of him and his happy brown eyes and this should fill you with the strength to go on. much love to you x

  5. April 4, 2014 / 08:29

    I have goosebumps. On Vanessa.
    What an amazing man he was. And continues to be.
    And what a tragic tragic death.
    Take some time out today to be kind to yourself as you remember this remarkable man.
    Lots of love.
    I shall raise cheese and biscuits in his honour later on

  6. April 4, 2014 / 11:53

    How are you feeling today lovely. I know this must be a head anniversary for you. Sending love and hugs…and gin x

  7. April 4, 2014 / 15:47

    Weeping 🙁
    I know how much you loved him. He was a very special man and I am so sorry he died in such a tragic way.

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