so the last 24 hours have been rather random. yesterday i was mostly in and out of being in the complete dark whilst trying to develop product for AW13. luckily i had been clever enough and packed a torch.

this was in delhi. five and half thousand miles from home.

i then hopped on a plane for eight and half hours. slept a very uncomfortable sleep and then the car didn’t turn up at the airport to pick us up, so we had to wait for another to be sent. joy o joy.

came home, unpacked and put the washing on. had a lovely lovely bath in clear not brown water, and then i was off to nursery to attend ronnies graduation. i know, that’s right, yes i said graduation. he is three about to turn four, and off to pre-school in september. so they held a graduation.

as you can imagine i was desperate to see him. even though skype and face time are marvelous things, it’s not quite the same is it. you just don’t get to sniff and squeeze. so i bounded off with excitement. when i arrived at the nursery all the children were sitting quietly in front of the rows parents. ronnie clocked me immediately, the joy in his voice was overwhelming and i burst into tears. “my mummy!” we had the longest hugs and many many kisses. problem was, that i think i spoilt his graduation. because that was it, he didn’t want to go back to the other where children were, he just wasn’t interested anymore. he just wanted to stay with me. “mummy are staying here all day?” my heart broke. he thought i would leave again.

in the meantime the children all sang their abc, twinkle twinkle little star and the graduation song they had written. they then all performed a dance they had prepared with an instructor. all very lovely. however, all the time ronnie was firmly on my lap and most definitely wouldn’t join in, but just clung to me.

the children all trotted off to the back room, the only way ronnie would go was if  was with him. they had made sweet little mortar boards out of card. they all walked back into the room in single file apart from ronnie and sonny who both had a parent with them. one by one as their names were called out they went up to collect their certificates and have their photos taken. ronnie was firmly on my lap and wasn’t about to move anywhere. i can’t help but think i ruined the day for him, and that he would have had so much more fun if i wasn’t there.

but how could i not be there for his first graduation? how could i not see him now that i was back from my travels? is that greedy of me?

i’m a graduee

are you proud of me

i now know my numbers and my abc

i am big and strong

so off to school i go

to learn lots more

and have some fun


  1. August 11, 2012 / 09:36

    Oh V……I think by the sounds of it you absolutely made his day! Don’t beat yourself up, he just wanted to be with his mummy! I am sure he loved it and you’ll have many more wonderful graduations in the future to enjoy with him. Your post made me cry by the way, so sweet and totally get the agony of being apart for trips for both of you! You’re a great mummy! xxx

    • hpmcq
      August 11, 2012 / 12:08

      Thank you Anna, the thought of you crying has made me cry too now! Our jobs are tough not sure when it does get any any easier just seems to be getting harder.

  2. August 11, 2012 / 10:19

    Oh that is such a lovely post. It is so hard trying to balance everything, but you managed to be there and that is the main thing. I am going back to work in September and will have to start missing things which I am not looking forward to, but there are lots of these things as they go through their school lives xx

    • hpmcq
      August 11, 2012 / 12:10

      It’s really hard, if your working you can’t be there but if your not working then it’s hard too. Why is does everything have to be so hard? Good luck in September x

  3. August 11, 2012 / 11:07

    Of course you didn’t ruin his day, you made his day! 🙂

    • hpmcq
      August 11, 2012 / 12:11

      Thank you, I do hope that’s the case x

  4. August 11, 2012 / 12:05

    If he could choose whether to be in a graduation ceremony or be with his mummy who he’s missed so much, what do you think he will choose? And what do you think he will remember the most? Squeezes and hugs all round x

    • hpmcq
      August 11, 2012 / 12:15

      Of course I would love him to choose me but I don’t want him to miss out on other stuff too because he is clinging onto me. Toughie this one. The strangest thing is that when I come back from these trips I get butterflies before I get to see him and almost a wave of nausea before he runs to me and flings his arms around me.

  5. Helloitsgemma
    August 11, 2012 / 19:26

    Nooooo you could not have missed it. It sounds lovely and very special for Ronnie. He did it his way from your lap and sounds like that was perfect for him.

    • hpmcq
      August 11, 2012 / 19:46

      oh i do hope so, i really struggled as i keep thinking i’ve taken a moment away from him x

    • hpmcq
      August 14, 2012 / 19:36

      The moment we got home he said “mummy i sing to you now” major heart melting

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