this has happened twice before and last night it happened once more. out of the blue came screams from ronnies room at just gone 10.30pm. he was trashing around screaming out for mummy, however ronnie was not awake.
so 15 days after my due date i was summoned to the hospital, 7.30 in the morning we left the house and
walked waddled the short distance round the corner to the hospital. once at the hospital i was promptly induced. i had hoped for a water birth and was pleased to hear that the birthing pool was free, however i was never to use it. the gas and air, was hopeless as i experienced minor panic attacks as i found it hard exhale. oliver on the other hand was enjoying it on the sly when no one was looking! i had tried to breathe my way through most of the contractions but i was struggling and getting tired. it was clear that the pethidine was pointless and so after 15 hours of labour i requested an epidural. i was exhausted and i really couldn’t manage the pain by myself anymore. the main problem was that i seemed to be stuck. i had dilated, but i had stopped at 7cm and i wasn’t going anywhere fast. my waters refused to break and it eventually took 3 attempts to break them!
wow so yesterday was interesting. it very nearly didn’t happen, that’s right i nearly said
“i’d rather be poorly sighted, get me out of here!”
it was all going well, i got to the clinic in plenty of time and filled in numerous pieces paper work. i met the surgeon, who was a lovely lovely chap and he made me feel really relaxed. he gave my eyes the final check over and ok’d me for the procedure. i then met the surgeons assistant who talked me through all the do’s and don’t for the next 48 hrs and then the following 2 weeks. he talked me through the copious amounts of different drops that i needed for my eyes and when and how to take them. he then put various drops in my eyes, anaesthetics etc and also gave my eyes a quick wipe over with iodine. i had a nice little hair net and blue shoe covers put on and i was ready for eyeball a go go.
oh my lord in under 6 hours my eyeballs are being lasered. what am i doing? feeling a little bit sick about it right now. fuck. lasers opening my eyes having a poke around then lasering the heck out of them. what? do i really need to be doing this? i look alright in glasses, shall i keep the glasses? oh lord someone slap me. this has taken 10 years to get to this point and now i am seriously doubting that i am making the right choice. i keep get texts and messages from friend and family saying good luck? why do i need good luck? these people know what they are doing right? they’ve done this shizzle before, i’m not the first? am i? oh fuck am i the first. no no no no they have testimonials. the girl opposite me has had hers done, they look alright, she can see ok. oh man.
for years i have been fanning around. i quite like glasses, i think i look alright in glasses. but they are a pain in the backside. you forget them, you loose them, you break them, drunk knobs want to try them on, babies love pulling them off your face and poking you in the eye all at the same time, generally all a bit annoying apart from the fact that actually give you the gift of sight. which at times is quite handy. yes i could have contacts, but seriously i should never be allowed to poke my finger in my eye, irreversible damage would be caused in just one day. so no to contacts, thanks but no thanks.